Sea of Discontentment

I swim in an ocean of splendor,
but wait for you to pull the plug.
Swirling.
Swirling .
Downward spiral.
Who will save me now?
No hand reaches to
Grasp.
No arms encircle to
Save.
I am
Cast
to the sharks of the world.
I am
Tortured
By their
Crude
Taunting
Smiles.
I am
Alone
In a sewer of
Smirking
Faces.

SOMETIMES

Sometimes I

SPARKLE,

Most times I

FLICKER.

Sometimes I

FLASH,

Most times I

FADE.

Sometimes I

SING,

Most times I

SIGH.

Sometimes I

STAND OUT,

Most times I

HIDE.

MOST of the time,

I wish SOMETIMES,

Was ALL the time.

SEARCHING FOR JOY

Make me happy.
Help me smile.
I am crying.
I am lost.
Show me how to get home.
Your joy is real.
My pain is strong.
I'm scared I will never arrive.
Share your delight.
Lead me to love.
I am standing here waiting for truth.

Alcohol

You broke my heart
You ruined my name
I am alone because of the reaction you produce.
People laugh, they stare
All the while I pretend not to care.
And you let me ignore my battle
Drown out all my pain
Let me avoid the awful beauty.
Those are things I cannot change.
But still you made me love you
through the smiles and the tears.
And of course I had to love you,
What else was there to do?
You let me have my freedom
Now I'm shackled here alone
I try to break the bonds.
Still I stand here screaming,
"I cant undo whats been done"
You get to be oblivious
A gift I'll never share
Instead I stand defensive and constantly aware.
I fight the need I feel for you
The feeling you arise.
I'm better off without you,
I shout through tear filled eyes.